As much as you would like to solve all the worlds’ problems, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Pour into yourself. Overflow with Love.
I’ve always loved to solve other people’s problems. It’s been a hobby, a passion, a lifestyle, for as long as I can remember. Most importantly, it’s a way for me to escape from my own problems.
My Own Problems.
The ones I was constantly ignoring.
The issue was, these problems were big, they were massive, they were eating me alive. Even if I explained it, no one could possibly understand. These problems were mine and mine alone to carry with me, forever.
But a friend could call me any time for advice, and I would always come in clutch.
After a while I started to feel weird. I started to feel used. I thought that I needed someone like me to show up for me.
At first, I was looking outward, trying to go outside of my comfort zones, away from the usual and into the unknown. Surely, the reason for my problems was that I just hadn’t met my person yet, so I need to go find them and show them I am worthy of their help. It sounds kind of crazy, probably because it kind of is, but I’m not a doctor.
Anyways, after many failed attempts at shoving random people on pedestals and begging them for guidance, I finally realized that these people were not magically chosen by the universe to fix my life. I was going to have to do this on my own. These beautiful souls that have been brought into my life are not here to save me, but to help me see myself better. To show me new ways of living life and present me with alternative perspectives so that I may take what I like and leave the rest.
The missing piece for me was that I was never treating myself as well as I was treating others. I needed to show myself love and put myself first.
At first it felt weird, I was praising myself out loud when completing tasks. Giving myself a literal pat on the back any time I felt the need. Letting myself feel feelings in the moment and moving on before they turned into something else. I started telling myself how each day was a good day in hopes that my brain would follow that trajectory. Slowly I started to realize that all my big problems were not that big at all, they were actually pretty normal and some of my problems were actually kind of made up.
Which brings me to one of the biggest changes of all. I had to change how much I was investing in other people’s lives. I had to accept the fact that everyone is on their own journey and finding their own way. My friends’ worlds will absolutely keep on spinning whether or not I give them my two cents. Tbh, a lot of the time I don’t even think they were asking for my advice. Which is good because who am I to be giving advice anyways, I have my own problems!
Here are some ways to practice self-care, right now:
- Deep Breathing: Focus on your breath. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a moment, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Do this a few times to get back in your body.
- Move Around: Wiggle your body and shake it off, go for a walk, dance in the kitchen.
- Connect with Nature: Look out the window, find a nice tree to acknowledge.
- Eat Better Food: Nourish your body with food that makes you feel good and helps your brain work.
- Set Boundaries: Say no to things that cause you stress or drain your energy.
- Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself the same way you are kind to others. Acknowledge your accomplishments and forgive yourself when you make a mistake.
It’s not a perfect list, its just a start.
Sincerely,
WonderGhoul